In my coming and going, I did not see that the mama bird was busy building. My mind so focused on the next thing and the next thing after that, I can not believe I missed it. Especially since I know that the smallest of things are the most important and yet so easily lost in the busyness of everyday. I know it is in the simplest of things that I am taken back to another place and time. This time the small blades of discarded grass created enough of a mess across the front porch that I finally stopped to see from where they were coming. And there it was- the simple reminder I so needed. To the eye, it was a fragile formation precariously balanced on top of the light. So gently positioned it would seem the slightest breeze would send it tumbling. But the reality is that it is a fortress for the babies nestled safely inside. And tucked into the walls of the fortress was the tiniest of purple blooms.
When we discovered we were having a girl, we decided to name her Catherine Violet. Her name would represent the women who sat at the helm of our families and lavished us in their love. It was always Catherine with a “C” and Violet, not for the color but the flower. I’m sure the violets bloomed in the multitudes every year but it wasn’t until we were awaiting her arrival that I was left breathless by the way the small sturdy flowers carpeted our lawn like a trumpet blare announcing her birthday was near. After she was born, they graced her bedside table- blooms her Da would bring home for her just because. After she died, they were what sat in front of her on the altar as we said goodbye.
I’ve always known everything has a reason and a purpose- nothing is by happenstance. It wasn’t until Catherine died, that I truly understood and trusted in it. I will never understand why she died but I trust, in the depth of my soul I trust, there is a reason. I may not understand why this is the life I now walk, but know it is peppered with reminders of her love that encourage us to move forward. While at first they sting, they make way for a peace to fill my soul. I don’t understand why the winged mama chose those delicate flowers to protect her babies. I don’t know why I stopped to look up. The reality is, I have come to realize I don’t really need to know. All I need to know is this time, the smallest purple blooms, tucked into the nest protecting the babies growing beside my front door caused me to stop in my tracks and open my eyes to see the violets have again blanketed the lawn. The violets are now the trumpets call to my heart reminding me when I desperately needed reminding- that she is near. The small sweet flower- my small sweet whisper from heaven reminding me of her love.