We cleared the greens from Catherine’s grave and planted purple pansies in the planter that would take their place. She should have had a new dress with a big bow; she should have been tucking the small bunny into the shiny pink purse while she stole one last M&M from her Easter basket. But the pansies are something we know she loves. It is in this slightest gesture that we honor the treasure we were blessed with.
As I moved the dirt around, I could feel her small hands help me—just as they did every year when the pansies were ready to be planted. She would love to pull the seedlings from the flat and make the perfect little home in the soil. The crowning glory would be the bunny she would tuck behind one of the planters. She would cater to the pansies all season—she would hand me a handful of spent blooms or collect the most beautiful and press them in big books for Mother’s Day cards. They were her treasures.
So often, I find myself holding my breath—bracing for the “big” 1st days—Freddy’s first day back to school, Valentine’s, Easter. At the end of each, I breathe deeply and am grateful that I made it through.
I am learning that the big days will come and go but it is in the everyday that I will find the treasures Catherine gives to me. Little purple pansies…